My computer has been down for a while – bad bad virus. I looked around for one of those geek-owned shops to take it to, but noticed that they had disappeared from the neighborhood. Have you seen all the empty stores up and down Beltline Road? Wow. I’m pretty certain that they are not empty because of illegals. But it did make me wonder – when the City Council spends that 10 million in our tax money to get the Four Corners area “shovel ready” who is going to want to build on it when there are so many “move-in ready” stores and apartments and condos available? Well, that’s a subject for another Post. What I want to talk about today are some issues that I got from Tim Scott’s old blog. I know this is old stuff, but it does explain a lot.

On July 24, 2007 10:59 AM Cause 4 Paws Brenda said…

I am a player on Brookhaven’s Golf courses and I can’t tell you how many awful back yards there are that we have to look at when golfing. The views are so wonderful and then there’s Bubba’s unkept yard! From junk sitting around to just plain awful, not to mention the lack of maintenance some of these homes have. The President’s course seems the worse. What are the chances of you taking a golf cart ride to check it out?” Brenda July 24, 2007 5:38 PM

Then suzieque asked…

“Does Farmers Branch have any plans to control what color a house gets painted? I have seen brick homes painted purple and bright blue. It is such an eyesore and can really make a neighborhood look bad.”

Tim Scott, City Council, Place 1 answered …

 “cause 4 paws brenda: I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been playing at Brookhaven and have seen a yard, house, or building that was in dire need of attention. And another city councilman brought some specific issues to the attention of Code Enforcement just last week. Maybe we could get some code enforcement officers to take a ride with us…that would be a good idea! Thanks for your comments!”

Ohhhh – that is the saddest thing I have heard lately: poor Brenda, Susie, Tim, and the Anonymous Councilman. How awful that they would be exposed to Bubba’s private back yard while they are out having fun. Something must be done. So, in my quest for innovation and proactive citizenship I decided I would talk to some of the Bubbas who live near where Brenda, Susie, Tim, and AC have to golf. I was hoping that if they were made aware of their selfishness they would mend their ways and make golfing fun again for BST&AC.

Things just weren’t that easy, now were they? The Bubbas were receptive, oh yes. But they asked a lot of questions that I could not answer. For instance: does “unsightly back yards” mean the broken windows, ripped screens, and dented storm doors? The Bubbas are trying really hard to repair these things as soon as they can after the golf balls rip through them, but gosh, they have lives too, and replacing those windows and screens and doors gets expensive.

Are BST&AC insulted about the man who lay in his back yard for several hours after he was hit by a golf ball? He will always have a huge crater in his head where his skull was crushed by that ball. He is balding, so he can’t even comb hair over it so that it will not upset the poor golfers. The person whose ball hit him was long gone by the time his wife found him in the back yard. I hope her screams and the ambulance sirens and paramedics and such didn’t disturb the poor golfers who were playing several hours later when his wife discovered him lying there.

Several of the Bubbas mentioned the missing fence pickets and broken bushes from when the golfers go into their back yards to retrieve errant balls that did not make it through the dining room windows. The Bubbas will try to fix these as they surely don’t want to insult the sensitive golfers. But sometimes it just takes a while for bushes to grow back. You’ll have to be patient. It would be helpful if you golfers try harder to aim for the greens – Bubba’s back yard isn’t part of the golf course and climbing over his fence really is trespassing. 

Then there’s the issue of the bathroom facilities. You may recall from an earlier post that I had mentioned that the city was “going green” by introducing waterless urinals in City Hall. Well, Brookhaven has had them for years! Several of the Bubbas offered to show me where they were, but I declined. If you want to visit one, though – they look just like bushes. Near Bubba’s back yard. Very near Bubba’s back yard. Apparently they are very handy, and used often. My only question, aside from the obvious, is: “Where do you guys (I hope it’s only guys who do this) wash your hands after you … uh, you know?”

You do wash your hands like your Mother taught you, right?


Solution: The Uroclub! "The Only Club In Your Bag Guaranteed To Keep You Out Of The Woods!"

So, my quest to get Bubba to stop being so inconsiderate didn’t go as planned. But I did learn a lot, and had some interesting experiences:

  • At one house  Bubba was trimming trees when I stopped to talk. I mentioned that my chain saw was dull and he offered to sharpen it for me if I would bring it by. I did, and he did. He even taught me how to sharpen my own saw, and gave me an extra file that would fit my chain so I could do it myself next time.
  • At another home Bubba noticed that a tire on my car was low on air. He got his air compressor and filled it for me, and then checked the other 3 tires to be sure they were okay.
  • Another Bubba gave me advice on a plumbing problem I was having. He even drew a picture so I would understand how to fix it.

Throughout history people have been valued by what they could contribute to society. My experience got me to thinking:  when I have a problem, who can I go to for help or advice? I sure don’t walk out to the golf course and ask a golfer. I go to someone who knows what they’re talking about – someone who will actually help me: the friendly neighborhood Bubba.

So, what exactly do those golfers contribute to the good of society? Inspection of private property? Heck – we have plenty of that in Farmers Branch. If given a choice between living near a Bubba or near a Brenda or Susie or Tim or Anonymous Councilman I’ll pick the Bubba any day.

Oh – and one of the Bubbas did have some advice for Brenda: If you spend more time practicing your swing and less time inspecting other people’s back yards you might be able to graduate from the President’s course.